Today marks the 20th anniversary of my all-time favorite game company. I'm not sure how I'm going to put everything I feel about them into words but I though I should at least give it a shot. Now I want to start by saying I'm not an OG, I didn't play Baldur's Gate on the PC back when or even KOTOR when it first came out. Mass Effect was my entree into the world of Bioware games and the weight of that game hit me like a ton of bricks. After spending several hours wandering around the Citidel I was hooked. There was so much more to see than any game I'd ever played. I'd never played a game where I could spend that much time, never accomplish anything and come away feeling totally satisfied. I was totally floored at how much work went into the game and the world and the characters. I was pretty used to linear shooters or licensed games where I felt like most of the world building was done by tie-in media or easter-egg seekers in internet forums. I felt like I was meeting real people and developing friendships. My Shepard was everything I wished I could be, hoped maybe one day I would be, everything I was too scared to be in real life. She was brave, honest, pragmatic, and open minded. When Kaidan thought he lost her, I thought I lost her too. One look at his face and I burst into tears. I'd never cried over a video game before. I don't really cry over movies much even but that moment got to me. I found out what it was like to be hit with feels. All the feels. I found out what it was to be a fangirl. I got into fanart and fanfic and I felt less lonely in liking something than I ever had before. Shepard helped me find parts of my personality I couldn't express before. I moved and the Normandy moved with me. When I was scared or lonely Shepard wasn't. She is my ultimate hero and will probably always be the most important fictional person in my life.
Following Shepard there have been others, Revan, the Warden, Hawke and the Inquisitor. Each woman, and yes they have all been women, has her own place in my heart and mind. And it seems like no matter how many play throughs there are, the first iteration is the most important. She is the one who is
mine. But each seems like a version of Shepard and an extension of me.
The worlds these women inhabit feel like a place to visit like a coffee shop where you do most of your writing or a vacation spot you can't stop going back to because it recharges your batteries like nowhere else. They inspire creativity. People want to carry little pieces with them, they want to be reminded in their daily life of a memory from the time they were someone else. That's powerful stuff. It sounds sappy but Bioware games changed my life. They gave me the courage to write. They gave me the passion to talk about something I love without caring about being judged. They helped me make friends and learn to talk to people.
So thanks Bioware. Thank you to all the writers, artists, voice actors, and musicians who made me laugh, cry, and fall in love. Here's to the last twenty years and many more fangirl tears in the future.
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